Dear Kristi,

I have the biggest problem ever. I’ve been best friends with this guy for years now. But now, after all this time, my feelings for him are stronger and different. He has a girlfriend, who I get along great with, and I would never want to hurt either one of them. But I feel right about him and me together, like it’s supposed to be that way. What do I do? How do I bring it out into the open without causing any conflict or making things weird? Should I just forget that I ever realized this?

— A Very Good Friend

Dear Friend,

This is an issue that comes up in a lot of boy-girl friendships. This could either turn out very good for you or extremely bad.

Hiding the way you feel is never a good idea. But addressing the situation correctly is crucial. You and this guy are obviously very close and probably share a lot with each other, so getting him to sit down and talk isn’t the problem. The problem is potentially ruining this wonderful friendship with him or his relationship with his girlfriend.

What you need to do is go somewhere together, somewhere casual and comfortable so he doesn’t feel awkward. Tell him exactly what you’re feeling about him and be very specific. Let him know that you don’t want to mess things up for him and his girlfriend or even worse, spoil the relationship between the two of you. If you keep the tone relaxed, he will respond without feeling weird.

You might be surprised — he could also be feeling the way you do. Then again, maybe he doesn’t, but keeping the friendship is what’s important. If it’s not meant to be like that, laugh it off and move on. Taking chances is a risk, but not taking the opportunity to be risky is always worse.

— Kristi