This week I didn’t need anyone to write to me asking about Valentine’s Day. I’m pretty clueless on the subject and I have my own question that needs answered.

I haven’t been a fan of Valentine’s Day since I was a kid. I’m talking about hating the day of love even as an eight year old. I didn’t like the concept of having to make everyone in your class a Valentine. I didn’t like half of them, so why did they need a little pink lie from me?

I got older and realized that some greater force was hindering me from experiencing the bliss that I saw my friends feel every February 14. Then I started to really hate that day. Even on the rare occasions when I did have a boyfriend, something would always happen and we would break up on, oh, say, February 13. Or I would get a new boyfriend on February 15. Every year, I’d miss it somehow.

My bitterness just got worse the older I got. I would walk past that aisle that Wal-Mart dedicated solely to Valentine’s Day and glare at the people strolling merrily down it. I would rally my single friends so we could kill a case of beer and complain about how much we hated guys and how much we loved being single.

And while there were in fact times that I truly loved being single, maybe a few too many of them, I only claimed to hate Valentine’s Day because I didn’t get it. I felt like I was missing out. It wasn’t like St. Patrick’s Day where everyone is Irish. Participating in Valentine’s Day was like being let into the VIP section of an elite club.

Why is there no happy medium with Valentine’s Day? Everyone is either so obsessed with it that they end up broke or stressed out, or people despise it with every inch of their soul.

There are definitely ways to enjoy Valentine’s Day whether you’re in a happy relationship or as single as they come. If you’re with someone and are excited about your plans, make sure not to act smugly around your single friends. If you’re single, don’t criticize your friends who do have Valentine’s Day plans with their significant others.

This year I’ll be celebrating my first real Valentine’s Day ever. Yes, I will no longer be a Valentine virgin. I’m nervous and excited and now I see why all my friends were always so giddy. Now that I’m experiencing the other side of this once dreaded holiday, I understand that it can be a good time for everyone, taken or single.

If you’re a hopeless romantic, make good use of it and make that special someone feel extra special. You should show them how much you care every day, but it’s OK to go a little overboard for them on Valentine’s Day.

And if you’re just feeling hopeless, don’t. Instead, find your other friends who are single and go out to dinner together. You can have a good Valentine’s Day even if you’re just spending time with friends. And for all you know, next year might be your year. This one was mine.