Dear Kristi,

I’m still in school, but my boyfriend isn’t. He has a good job, though. I understand that this job is good for him as well as for our future, but sometimes I feel like he puts me on the back burner. I know that when he comes home, he’s tired, but I’d even be content sitting with him on the couch just relaxing. I don’t want him to feel like I’m nagging, but I want him to know that while I completely support him and his choices, I still need some of him and his time, too. How can I talk to him about this? And better yet, how can I put some spice back into our relationship just to remind him that I’m around?

— Ignored Girlfriend

Dear Ignored,

Sometimes, when people take on new responsibilities, they forget to keep other areas of their lives in check. It’s good that you understand that this job is a big deal for him, and that you’re not being the clingy, unsupportive girlfriend. But while he does have his duty to his job, he also has one to you. A relationship is a commitment, the same as a job is a commitment. He needs to find a way to balance his time so it includes the job as well as you.

Tell him the same thing you told me. You’re being completely rational, so if you present it to him in a logical way, he’ll get it. He might not even realize that you feel this way. Bring it up in casual conversation, express your concerns, and tell him that even the little time he could spare is enough, and he’ll probably be more than happy to hang out more often.

As far as adding a little more spice to your relationship, I offer you these three words: use your imagination. Take him on a walk in a park on a night he has off. Find a field somewhere and lay on a blanket under the stars cuddling. Take him out to dinner at his favorite place. And if you’re a little more adventurous than that, go to Victoria’s Secret and buy something that you know he’d get excited about. Any kind gesture that’s out of the ordinary routine, whether it be small or risqué, is one that will be appreciated. And hopefully, every once in a while, he will return the favor.

— Kristi